


Guarding the Castle

by KairiasYami2



Series: hope (comes slow) [3]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders is a Mess, M/M, Morality | Patton Sanders is a Sweetheart, Patton is not white in this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:15:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24445663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KairiasYami2/pseuds/KairiasYami2
Summary: A prequel/side-story for my hope (comes slow) series.We get a little backstory for Roman and Patton. They're not shown in the best light in the main series, but maybe this (and any other similar stories I may write) will make you guys feel a little more sympathetic towards Roman.Also part of my ongoing goal to write at least 500 words everyday, day 8. Title is the prompt I got for today (which is not necessarily the most fitting, but it's what inspired me, so *shrug*)Hope you guys enjoy!
Series: hope (comes slow) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1671700
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	Guarding the Castle

**Author's Note:**

> #BlackLivesMatter

Prompt: Guarding the Castle

* * *

Roman first met Patton when they were both in their first year of high school. It was just after his first real fight with his twin brother Remus, and despite his outgoing and cheerful facade, Roman had never felt so low and lonely. Roman had hidden himself away in a secluded alcove that he’d never seen anyone use, and taken the time to cry. He wasn’t supposed to cry - he was the prince, the hero, the one who was always strong. His parents depended on his optimism, his friends loved him for his self-assurance - he was not allowed to cry, or appear weak. Not like Remus, who allowed himself to cry and show ‘feminine’ emotion even then, who did what he wanted and who didn’t seem to care that no one liked him, that their parents favored Roman over him. 

(Even back then, Roman both hated and admired Remus. Hated, because Remus was everything Roman was not, everything that Roman had taught himself not to be, and yet he seemed so much happier than Roman had ever been. And admired, because, well, Roman wishes he could be so confident and indifferent to others’ scorn; he wishes he could be so free and happy. So. Roman‘s complicated feelings for his brother isn’t anything new.)

So Roman sits in his alcove, wallowing in a depressing mix of hatred and self-loathing and loneliness and yearning, when he hears footsteps coming his way. He quickly tries to stifle his cries, terrified its a teacher about to bust him for skipping class - or worse, one of his friends looking for him, only to find the truth of how pathetic he is. 

But it’s neither of those things. 

It’s a boy his age with dark skin and beautiful curly hair. His eyes shine brightly, matching the beaming grin on his face and the cheery tune he’s humming, and Roman feels his heart skip a beat.  _ Oh. _

(At the time he quickly stifled his feelings, but years later Roman will look back at this moment as the day he realized that perhaps he wasn’t so straight after all.)

Roman must have made a sound, for the cheerful boy startled and let out a shout. Shocked at the loud noise, Roman fell out of his hiding spot and screamed, and they stood for a moment screaming at each other. Roman realizes that there was no reason for him to be shouting, and so clears his throat and does his best to pretend that never happened. He smooths down his clothes and subtly wipes the tears from his face, hoping it’s not too obvious that he’d been crying. 

When he returns his attention to the boy he’s composed himself, and finds the stranger holding out his hand with a smile. “Heya there! I’m Patton! I see you’ve been crying, do you need a  _ patton _ the back?”

Despite his initial panic that  _ someone saw, everyone will hate me _ , Roman finds himself laughing at the pun. “That was horrible.”

“I know, but it got you to laugh! So what’s your name, my hopefully new friend?”

Roman smiles, not feeling so lonely anymore. “I’m Roman. And...I’d like that - to be friends.”

“Well that’s fantastic! I have a new friend!! Don’t worry buddy, we’ll be the best of pals in no time!”

* * *

Years later, as he watched Logan hurry from their apartment with heartbreak clear on his face, and sees Patton staring back at him with the same guilt he’s feeling reflected in his eyes, Roman will look back on that day and curse it. Curse that then-Roman hadn’t realized his feelings for the chipper boy sooner so that none of this would happen, curse then-Roman for being so repressed and unhappy that even years and years later he’s still hurting the ones he loves with his actions. 

But most of all, he just curses himself, past and present. He never really got over his self-loathing, after all.


End file.
